Beautiful Nightmare
by DementedDiva
Summary: Sequel to "Sex Dreams" Now that Harley is an inmate at Arkham Asylum it's time for people to hear her side of the story of her relationship with the Joker.
1. I've Made Him Look Like a Monster

Funny how much can change in such a short time. To think Harley was once walking through the halls of Arkham to the therapy rooms as a doctor and now, just about a year later, was being escorted into one as a patient. The irony was almost too perfect, like another one of the world's jokes. She had no idea who they were going to put on her case, but it didn't matter. She didn't need to be fixed; Joker already managed to help her find her true self. Harley smiled to herself as the guards lead her into the room for her first session.

"JOANIE!" Harley screeched as the guards pushed her into the chair and secured her into it. "Good to see ya again!"

Joan Leland was taken aback by the woman in front of her. Of course she had been following Harleen's antics over the year since she ran off with the Joker, but seeing her in person was almost too much. She had expressed her concerns to Dr. Arkham about whether or not she would be able to handle counseling Harleen considering their history, but he insisted there was no other person qualified enough to deal with such a case. It wasn't everyday you had a former doctor come in as a psychopath.

Pulling herself together Joan nodded for the guards to leave as she took her seat across from Harleen. Opening up her notes in front of her Joan took a deep breath and pushed 'record' on the tape recorder.

"Session one. This is Dr. Joan Leland sitting in with Patient #91192, Harleen Quinzel. How are you today Harleen?"

Harley giggled to herself, rolling her eyes. 'Is that what I used to sound like?' she thought. 'So dull and boring; no wonder nobody ever gets better in this place.'

"Harleen?"

"Joan, really? You know I hate that name, call me Harley."

"I'm not going to call you that."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm trying to help you get back to your old self. By using that name that you have now tarnished it's only going to encourage your unhealthy behavior."

Harley started laughing out loud. She was in hysterics; this was just too funny.

"Care to let me in on what's so funny?"

"You don't actually believe that do you? You always called me Harley, everyone did. This is just stupid. I haven't been exhibiting any 'unhealthy behavior'. I've never felt healthier to be honest with you. For once in my life I can say I feel more like myself."

Joan shook her head. She hated seeing Harley like this; she had so much potential. Then that psychotic clown got a hold of her and brainwash her into his minion. Joan was always concerned about her being assigned to the Joker case when she was so young and fresh out of school. She had been worried for her safety more than anything else; never did she think Harley would fall for his evil charm.

"Fine. Harley, when you say you never felt more like yourself what do you mean?"

"Pretty self explanatory isn't it."

"You really believe you were meant to be criminal? To work hand in hand with a man who has no regard for anyone or anything including himself? I'm sorry, but I knew you and that is not the woman I saw."

"The woman you saw was a shell of herself. Someone who was never truly able to express who she was. A woman always trying to please everyone else. What you saw was a broken woman just trying to make it through her sorry excuse of a life, trying to fit into a society that never understood her. I was a prisoner Joan, but Mistah J was able to break me out. He opened my eyes to what the world could be if you just let go and laugh a little. For once in my life I found someone who cares about me."

"The Joker is not capable of caring for anyone."

"That's not true! He cares about me! Why is that so hard for everyone to understand? Jesus, you all walk around talking about him like he's some kinda animal. For your information, he has done nothing but protect and care for me since we've been together. He loves me!"

"Then why did he throw you out of a window and leave you for dead Harleen!?" Joan was practically yelling. Harley sat back in her seat staring at Joan with wide eyes in shock.

Trying to calm herself and control her breathing, Joan closed her eyes for a second. She lost her head there. For the first time in 15 years she snapped in front of a patient. This was just too sad, too personal. She knew it was a bad idea to try and play doctor to Harleen, they had been too close at one point. Opening her eyes she looked at Harley who was still in shock at her outburst, but there was also sadness in her eyes she hadn't seen until now.

'Damn it, I've upset her. I shouldn't have brought that up like that. Attacking her isn't going to make her better. I have to take my time and get her to realize herself that this isn't who she really is. Time for damage control' Joan thought to herself.

"Harley, I'm very sorry. I shouldn't have…"

"Is that what people think? That Mistah J threw me out of the window?" Harley said.

"Isn't that what happened?"

Harley had tears in her eyes; she began to sob as she shook her head.

"No" she said barley above a whisper "That's not what happened."

"Then can you please tell me exactly what did happen?"

But Harley wasn't listening anymore. She was crying harder than before; talking to herself. It seemed as if she forgot Joan was in the room with her.

"This is horrible; I've made him look like a monster. This is all my fault. I was too selfish. If I hadn't been so stupid. It wasn't his fault, he didn't know I couldn't handle it. It was too much. I needed him to myself. This is all my fault. I should have been as happy as he was. This is so wrong, so bad. I've made him look like a monster, all my fault…"

The phrase 'all my fault' was now the only thing Harley was saying. Joan stared at her in shock; she didn't know what was happening. She went off the deep end so fast. Joan had to bring her back into reality.

Slowly reaching her hand across the table she took Harley's hand in her own. The gesture snapped Harley out of her crazed state. She let Joan hold her hand for a moment. Neither said a word, Harley slowly got herself calmed down. Now the room was silent; Joan had to break it. As much as she wanted to let Harley go back to her cell to rest, she needed to get some answers.

"Harleen, I need you to tell me what happened that night."

She looked like she was going to snap again, but Joan squeezed her hand in encouragement. Taking a deep breath Harley prepared herself to tell her story.


	2. I Think I Got Some Good News For Ya

"This can't be happening again. Please don't let this be happening again."

Harley Quinn was pacing around the bathroom in her and Joker's lair muttering to herself. Finally after what seemed like forever the egg timer went off; momentarily snapping out of her daze. She walked towards the sink slowly as if she were approaching a bomb. It might as well have been, knowing what the fallout would be if the result was what she thought it was.

"Grow up Harl, just do it" she said as she picked up the test off the counter. She held it upside down for a few seconds before finally getting the courage to read the results.

"Here we go" she turned the stick to read it.

There in bold blue letters the word 'YES' was clearly visible. So many feelings flooded through her at the same time she thought she was either going to throw up or pass out. How could this have happened? After the last time when Mistah J had been so angry that she had gotten herself knocked up she promised herself it wouldn't happen again. She had taken every precaution. This just couldn't be happening.

Looking around the room though, it was hard to argue. Over 50 different tests were scattered around the floor, each one with the same result. Some had lines, some words, and some with smiley faces, but all meant the same thing.

Harley Quinn was pregnant.

"Just stay calm, there's nothing to worry about yet. He doesn't know. Maybe this time will be different."

Thinking back to a few months ago Harley started to realize how different their situation was now. Last time they had only just started their relationship. They didn't even have a place to settle into yet. Now things were different. It had been 5 months since Joker and Harley ran away together, they had a lair, dozens of henches, and were in between plans for getting under Batman's skin. Surely this time Mistah J would be more open to the idea.

Suddenly she remembered what happened right after Joker's rage; after he literally beat the life out of her, he held her. It didn't last long, but it was a real tender moment. She remembered him explaining why he had to get rid of the 'little problem', telling her she wasn't ready to handle all that.

But she was ready now. She would have to do some convincing, but she was sure this time she could change his mind. After all, she often made sacrifices for him. He would want to keep her happy by letting her have this one little thing, right? Though he didn't apologize, the tenderness he showed her last time had to count for something right? There was no way he would put her through all that again.

Making up her mind she took the latest test and put it in her back pocket before walking out of the bathroom. As she got closer to the Joker's workroom she listened carefully to see what his mood was. To her delight she heard him chuckling softly.

'He's in a good mood today. This is perfect. Maybe everything is going to be alright.' She thought happily to herself before knocking on the door.

"What?" Joker yelled in response.

"Puddin? You busy?"

Suddenly the door opened and Harley stood face to face with Joker. His face now looked angry. Why? Wasn't he just laughing?

"Something wrong Puddin?"

"Harley girl, what have I told you about disturbing me while I'm busy working? Remember I told you I don't want you pestering me while I'm busy?"

"I know Mistah J, but I thought I heard ya laughing. I didn't think…"

"YOU NEVER THINK! That's the problem!"

"I'm really sorry. I'll just go."

"No, no, no. You're here now. Tell me, what was so important you couldn't wait for me to be finished working? Hmmmm?"

Harley gulped and squirmed where she stood. Joker loved it. Ever since he convinced her to be his little hench wench she was always good for some entertainment. He loved the power he felt over her; in a matter of minutes he could have her cowering in fear, then cuddling with him on the couch. She was exactly what the doctor ordered; a much needed dose of constant entertainment. She was also a good little punching bag.

He still couldn't believe how easy it was for him to turn sweet little Dr. Harleen Quinzel into the manic lovesick puppy Harley Quinn. It was one of his proudest accomplishments. Sure she got in the way sometimes, but the little minx could be useful too. He had trained his little Harley well, she always did as she was told.

The two stood in silence a little longer. Joker could tell by her face she was struggling with herself about what she was going to say.

"Well…?"

Harley looked him in the eye and started to speak.

"Well Puddin, I think… I think I got some good news for ya."

"Really my sweet and what might this 'good news' be?"

She was losing her nerve.

'Now or never Harl.'

Reaching into her pocket and taking out the test she slowly moved it in front of her; still too low for Joker to see it. Keeping eye contact she reached for his hand, placed the stick in his palm, and closed his hand around it. Joker didn't waste time; he quickly looked in his hand to see the positive pregnancy test.

He stared at Harley. This had to be a joke. Did she learn nothing! What was wrong with this girl? How could she let this happen? Wasn't he clear that he would never let a child get in the way of his plans? How disrespectful. After everything he had done for her! He should have killed her the first day he met her! Oh she was going to pay. Nobody tries to make a fool out of the Joker and gets away with it.

But this time he needed to get his point across. Really make sure she understood.

Getting so lost in his thoughts he almost forgot the little nuisance was still standing in front of him; waiting for his reaction.

"Harley, I need you to run along now while I figure out what we are going to do about this."

She wasted no time and scurried away into their bedroom.

Joker closed the door to his workroom and took a seat at the desk. What was he going to do with this girl? The easiest solution was to just beat it out of her again, but really what good would that do. She obviously missed the point last time. How could she even think to come to him with this? What did she think that he would suddenly be overcome with joy? That he would go out and get little blue and pink outfits? Hell, why would she think he would allow her to get fat? Why would she even want a baby? Harley loved being the center of attention. Didn't she know that a baby would…

The thought hit him like a ton of bricks.

'Of course! That will teach her!' he thought to himself bursting out into uncontrollable laughter.


	3. Unexpected Reactions

Joan couldn't believe the story she was hearing. This poor woman had been through so much; it didn't make sense she still thought the clown had love for her. What kind of monster could attack a pregnant woman and one carrying his child at that? Trying to think of the right question to ask next her thoughts were interrupted when Harley spoke again.

"I felt like I was waiting for him forever, but then he came into the room. I gotta say I didn't exactly expect what he did next."

"What did he do Harley?"

"He came into the bed, grabbed me, and kissed me! He was so happy! He said he had thought about it and said it would be a great idea to have a little baby around. I couldn't believe it. I mean, of course I could believe it. Puddin always wants me to be happy. But I think he took it better that time because I was honest from the start, ya know?"

That didn't sound like the Joker, there had to be some twisted reason behind him acting happy. How could Harleen not see that?

"Alright. Well, when you say he was excited what exactly do you mean?"

"Puddin went out that same night and came home with tons of presents for the baby. He picked out a crib and some sweet little outfits. It was nice. All he kept talking about was how he couldn't wait to be a daddy."

Once again Harley started to cry.

"I ruined everything."

"You keep saying that, that you ruined everything and you were selfish. I'm sorry, but I really don't understand what you mean by that. You did nothing wrong Harley."

"But I did Joan, I hurt him so badly."

"Harley girl daddy's home! Come down here I brought some goodies!"

'Thank God!' Harley had begun to wonder when he would be back. She asked him to go out hours ago to get her some anti-nausea medicine. This morning sickness was taking a lot out of her. She would have gone herself, but Joker insisted that she couldn't leave the lair in her condition. Said he couldn't live with himself if she lost this baby.

Harley came downstairs to find Joker standing holding a giant teddy bear.

"Whaddya think? Jr. is going to love this!"

"It's really sweet Puddin, but did ya happen to get the medicine I asked for?"

"Oh no Poo. It slipped my mind. I was too preoccupied picking up things for our little bundle of joy. Besides I've heard it's dangerous for you to take those things while you're pregnant. You don't want to hurt our child, do you?"

"I guess not…"

"That's a good girl. Now come look at all the things I picked up."

Harley rolled her eyes following Joker. What more could he have possibly gotten? Every day he was coming home with new things for the baby. At first it was cute, but now it was getting a little out of hand. Diapers, monitors, bottles, and toys where starting to overflow throughout the lair. She had to admit that Mistah J's reaction was everything she could have hoped for, but this was getting out of hand. He was completely consumed with the idea of having a baby that he barley talked about anything else. Any time he did sit down to talk to her it was to discuss the baby. Didn't he realize she needed some attention too? After all if it weren't for her he wouldn't even have a baby to shop for.

She followed Joker outside to the 'backyard' to find two hyena pups chained to the fence.

Harley was overcome with joy. He didn't forget about her after all. She had been saying she wished she had a fun pet to play with.

"Puddin! This is so great!"

"I know, the little tike with just love playing with them. Don't ya think?" he said patting Harley's stomach.

"You got these for Jr.?"

"Of course! Every child should have a pet. Helps them develop social skills or something like that right?"

Harley shook her head. This was too much!

"You should go lay down Harley, you don't look so good. We have to keep you healthy so Jr. will be healthy."

"Ok… Can I have a kiss before I go?"

"Do you really have to ask?"

Joker stood in front of Harley, but instead of moving in to kiss her mouth he bent down to kiss her stomach.

"Goodnight Jr. Daddy can't wait to meet you!"

Then he walked away.

Harley made her way back to the bedroom feeling sick to her stomach. This time it wasn't morning sickness, she felt disgusted. All she wanted was for her and Mistah J to have a little family together. So why wasn't she feeling happy? Why didn't the idea of getting new things for the baby excite her?

"What's wrong with me?"

Then a thought hit her, maybe she just needed to get out. It felt like forever since she went out on a heist with her Puddin and tonight he was planning on a bank robbery to ruffle B-man's feathers. First she thought about asking Mistah J if he wanted her company, but thought better of it. He would tell her no and make her stay home saying it wasn't safe for her. Of course she would be extra careful, besides nothing bad could happen. It was time for her to have some fun!

Now that her mind was make up locked herself in the bedroom to get ready. Tonight she was going to remind Joker that she could still be useful. Let him know that she didn't need to be kept hidden away and protected like a child. She could take care of herself!

Meanwhile Joker was in his workroom laughing to himself. He was once again shocked how easy it was to manipulate the little pest. You would think a psychiatrist would be smarter than that. It just went to show how simple minded and twisted the world was. This woman was clearly too childlike and inexperienced, yet she managed to convince teachers and other doctors that she was qualified to treat people. What a joke! Joker just felt lucky he was the first one to see the cracks in her pretty little shell; made the game more fun. It made him look like even more of a criminal mastermind. People were in shock that he was able to 'brainwash' the good little doctor and turn her into something she wasn't. Wait til they see what he had planned for her next. He knew that he could never let Harley actually give birth to a child. This pregnancy was going end; whether by his hand or hers. Judging by how she was reacting to not getting the attention she was used to he was confident he wouldn't have to physically do anything this time.


	4. Hard Choices

Joker stood in the middle of Gotham National bank cackling; getting a natural high from the chaos. The people of Gotham were screaming in panic and terror as he and his men flooded through the doors guns blazing. An older woman was unfortunate enough to run right into Joker. A quick slice to the throat disposed of her.

This was what he needed to feel like himself again. All this baby talk, no matter how fake it was, was getting under his skin. He could only hope that good ol' Bats would show up. Then the fun could really begin. As if on cue Joker felt a punch in the back of his head causing him to fall to the ground.

"Oh Bats, come to join the party?"

Batman said nothing and went on attacking the Joker. The two fought back and forth throughout the whole building. Each man would take turns getting the upper hand, until Batman hit Joker with a Batarang to the legs causing him back into the wall. Joker watched as he walked towards him, waiting for him to get close before he struck again.

"This ends now Joker." Batman said in his comically deep voice.

Before Joker could respond Batman suddenly fell forward as if he was hit from behind.

"Leave Mistah J alone you big dumb bat!" Harley screamed. She was standing right behind where Bats was seconds ago holding a baseball bat.

"Harley?"

"Hiya Puddin'. Miss me?"

A slap across the face was the answer.

"What the hell are you doing here? I told you to stay home!"

"But Puddin' we haven't had any time together in forever. I just wanted to spend time with ya."

All he wanted to do was knock her head off her shoulders to wipe that stupid look off her face, but he held in his rage. He couldn't forget all the work he'd done pretending to give a fuck that she was pregnant. He couldn't ruin his own joke now; it would be a waste of a punchline. He grabbed her arm tightly and dragged her to the door.

"Did you ever think I might want alone time?"

"What about me? What about what I want? I wanna have fun too! It's not fair you get to be out all the time and I have to stay cooped up in the lair. All I wanted was to spend time with you. Ever since I told you about the baby you've done nothing but ignore me. How do you think that makes me feel? Why are you so…"

Her rant was cut short. Batman was back up and had pushed her to the ground to get to the Joker. The two fought again. This time the fight was cut short when the henches joined in to take Batman off Joker's hands; he needed to focus on Harley right now. If one thing would get under her skin it would be him leaving a fight with Bats to protect the baby. He never once left a fight unfinished.

He walked over to where Harley was still laying. He put his arm around her to prop her up.

"Are you alright? Oh I just couldn't live with myself if something happened to you."

Harley smiled, he was worried about her.

"I'm fine Pud…"

Joker put his hand on her stomach and spoke directly to it "Oh Jr. I'm sorry you were in danger. I will make sure you are never put in harm's way again."

Now he looked back at Harley "Come on now, we are going home. We don't want Jr. getting hurt."

That was it. That was what finally put Harley over the edge. She got herself out of Jokers grip and began screaming.

'Oh goodie, the show is about to begin!' Joker thought smugly.

"I can't take it anymore! This isn't want I wanted! Don't you even care about me anymore? All you talk about is this stupid baby. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO START PAYING ATTENTION TO ME AGAIN?"

"Oh Harley, I know it's not fair, but as long as there's another person in this relationship I can't give all of myself to just you. I didn't think I would be able to feel as much love for one person as I do for Jr. You understand, don't you? Don't you feel the same way?"

Harley's head was about to explode. How could he not love her as much anymore? Weren't babies supposed to make a couple's bond stronger? How come this was ripping them apart? It wasn't fair! She thought back to when she was first pregnant and how excited she was thinking they could be a little happy family. But that would never be the case, not if he couldn't love them both.

Batman was once again up and making a b-line for the Joker.

"Sit tight kiddo, daddy will be right back" Joker said as he ran towards Batman.

Feeling overwhelmed Harley scooted herself back against the wall. Looking back she realized it wasn't actually a wall, but a floor to ceiling window. Looking down to the street below she got lost in her thoughts. What was she going to do now? She couldn't picture her life without Mistah J, but she couldn't live with him like this either. He had been very clear though, as long as she was pregnant he wouldn't be able to love her the same.

'This was a huge mistake. I shoulda never let this happen, but there's nothing I can do now. If I don't have this baby it would kill him. I can't make him hurt like that. He's too happy. There's no way I can get rid of it now. Unless I could make it look like an accident…' Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a light clicking sound. Looking to her left she saw one of Joker's bombs at the base of the window.

This was her chance.


	5. Do You Regret It?

"I normally would have gotten out of the way when I saw the bomb, but I didn't move. I knew it wasn't going to be that big of an explosion; just enough to blow out the glass. See Joan, J didn't throw me out of that window. I jumped."

"You mean you tried to kill yourself?"

"No. I did't want to die. It was just the only thing I could think to do. I needed to get rid of… it." she said with a mix of sadness and disgust.

Joan stared at her awestruck.

"The footage on the news made it look like I should have died on impact, but I'm quick and knew how to land it right. I didn't even fall that badly, but it was enough to do the trick. I know how bad that sounds, but I just couldn't handle it anymore. I was too selfish."

This woman was crazy. Who would decide to do something so dangerous just to not have a baby? How could she have no remorse? Women have abortions everyday because they aren't ready, but to throw yourself out a window…

"Do you regret it?"

"No…. I mean…"

Harley thought for a moment before continuing. "I mean, I feel bad I had to lie to J. He didn't blame himself; he knew it was Bats that made the bomb go near the window in the first place. I'm happy about that, I don't know what I would do if I made him think this was his fault. And he's changed his mind about kids again. Says it's too dangerous for us to have one. So now I'm extra careful. He didn't even know about the last few times."

"The last _few_ times?"

"I can't share him Joan. I can't ever let anything or anyone come between us. I need him. So I do what I have to. Love makes people do crazy things, huh?"

There was nothing else to say. Not caring she wasn't ending the session in the correct manner Joan called for the guard to take Harley back to her cell.

"I guess I don't expect you to understand. Next time we can talk about lighter stuff, okay?"

"I don't think there's going to be a next time. Something tells me it's time for your pardon Harley girl."

"PUDDIN'!" Harley squealed.

Joan turned her head to come face to face with the Joker. Before she could scream Joker punched her in the face, knocking her out.

"Daddy's here to spring ya! Couldn't leave you all cooped up on our anniversary."

"Oh Puddin' ya remembered!"

Harley wrapped her arms around Joker's neck and kissed him.

"Come on Harley, let's get out of this sorry excuse of an institution."

They made their way through the halls with no interruptions.

"So my sweet, what did you talk to the good doctor about?"

"Ya know I'm not supposed to discuss my sessions with anyone." Harley said with a giggle.

"Oh yea, I forgot about that. Oh well. Let's just get you home. The dogs have missed you."

Joker had been listening to the whole session. He of course had already known Harley forced that baby out of herself; that was his plan all along. What he really took away from the whole thing was she really was his. It didn't matter how he treated her or what he put her through, she was all his to do with as he saw fit. And one thing she said was absolutely correct, she did need him. He made it that way. His own little pet to play with.

"I can't wait to get home Puddin'. Everyone here just doesn't understand me."

"I understand you sweet and isn't that all that really matters?"

She kissed him again.

"Remember how we spent our first night together? Should we make it a repeat performance?"

She was all his. No matter what. Exactly the way he wanted.


End file.
